A Simple Solution Presents Itself

A Navy/Marine Corps veteran living in Florida has been convicted (presumably under the Stolen Valor Act) of claiming to have won four Purple Heart medals when he had in fact earned none.

If he wants them so badly, a simple solution presents itself: just shoot him four times. You can use a .22 Short so as not to make lethal wounds. That way he'll have earned his medals. You can even have some Vietnamese-Americans do the shooting, for extra verisimilitude.

Really, if you're going to violate the Stolen Valor Act, you might as well claim a higher class of medal than the Purple Heart. Claim the Bronze Star at the very least.

Slacker.